6 IFS Exercises to Try at Home Today
Exploring the landscapes of our inner selves can sometimes feel like navigating an intricate maze without a map. Internal Family Systems (IFS) offers a transformative approach that empowers us to understand and harmonize the diverse parts of our psyche. In this article, we'll delve into practical exercises that you can start using immediately to foster self-awareness, healing, and personal growth right from the comfort of your home.
For those looking to deepen their journey with professional guidance, Janae Kim Psychotherapy can provide personalized support as you navigate your inner self. Learn more about how IFS therapy can support your path to well-being. Join us as we explore six accessible and impactful exercises designed to help you engage with your inner world and create a more balanced, peaceful life.
Understanding Internal Family Systems Therapy
The internal family systems model is a therapy approach that believes we are all made up of several different parts, or sub-personalities. This approach was founded by Dr. Richard Schwartz who believed that we all have an inner system that is made up of various parts, like an internal family. The IFS model believes that the several parts within us fulfill both healthy and unhealthy roles. With this system, he determined that the healing process involved finding the Self and bringing all parts together.
Internal family systems helps you understand and soothe the various emotions and reactions that pop up in your mind, treating each one as a member of a big internal family. Each part has its own story and feelings, and IFS helps you listen to these parts with compassion and self-acceptance. This approach aims to soften the inner critic and bring peace and harmony within you, allowing you to lead a more balanced and self-aware life.
The Three Parts of IFS Therapy
In Internal Family Systems therapy, we think about our personality as made up of different parts, each with their own roles and emotions. According to IFS, these parts include:
Exiles: These are the parts that hold deep emotional wounds and painful memories. They're usually hidden away to keep their pain from overwhelming us.
Managers: These parts work hard to keep us safe and in control. They manage our day-to-day life and try to prevent any distress from the exiles from surfacing.
Firefighters: When something triggers an exile's pain, firefighters jump into action to soothe or distract us. This might show up as sudden, intense behaviors like binge eating or withdrawing from others.
Understanding these parts and how they interact can help bring peace and healing to our inner world.
The 8 C's and 5 P's of the Self
In Internal Family Systems therapy, the Self is like the core of your personality—think of it as the calm, compassionate leader among all the different parts of you. The Self has eight key qualities, often called the 8 C's:
Curiosity
Compassion
Calmness
Clarity
Confidence
Creativity
Courage
Connectedness
These traits help the Self act as a nurturing and wise presence, guiding the various parts of your psyche toward healing trauma and inner conflict. When you're in a state of 'Self', you're likely to approach life's challenges with self-compassion and a balanced and understanding perspective.
The 3 P's refer to the goals of IFS therapy, which are:
Perspective
Patience
Persistence
These goals are aimed at facilitating understanding and transformation within the internal system by adopting a patient, persistent approach, and gaining new perspectives.
Preparing for Internal Family Systems Exercises
Preparing for Internal Family Systems exercises can enhance your experience and deepen your self-exploration. Start by finding a quiet, comfortable space where you won’t be interrupted. This helps create a safe environment where you can freely explore your inner world and conflicting emotions. Next, set aside some time where you can focus without rushing—this isn’t something you’ll want to squeeze into a busy schedule.
Before you begin, take a few deep breaths to center yourself, and gently remind yourself to approach the exercise with openness and curiosity, ready to listen to whatever comes up with compassion. This mindset can help you engage more effectively with the different parts of yourself during the exercise.
1. Mapping Your Parts
This involves taking a quiet moment to reflect on the different aspects of your personality. Imagine each part as a character in your personal story. You might identify the protective parts of a 'Protector' who steps in during stressful times, or a 'Critic' who challenges your decisions.
Sketch these out in a notebook or on a piece of paper, noting their roles, how they feel, and when they tend to show up. This visual map serves as a guide to understanding and recognizing the diverse voices within you, setting the stage for deeper self-exploration.
2. Focus on a Part
Choose a target part to focus on, especially one that feels particularly active or disruptive. Imagine this part as if it were a character with its own appearance, voice, and personality. Sit quietly and ask this part questions like, "What do you need?" or "Why are you feeling this way?" Listen intently to the answers.
This exercise can help you understand the part’s motives and needs, fostering a deeper connection to your self-energy and opening the door to healing the emotional distress it may be carrying.
3. Try an IFS Meditation
Engage in an IFS meditation by finding a quiet space and allowing yourself to settle into a relaxed state. Close your eyes and gently bring your focus inward. Start by inviting the Self to come forward with its qualities of calm and compassion.
From this centered place, gradually invite a specific part to show itself. Allow yourself to notice any feelings or images that arise, and maintain an open dialogue with this part, asking it what it needs and listening to its response. This meditative practice helps deepen your connection to your internal parts and promotes healing.
4. Use Chair Work
Chair work is a dynamic IFS exercise that involves physically moving between different chairs to represent your various parts. Set up several chairs in a room, each representing a different part of you. Sit in each chair and speak from the perspective of the part it represents, expressing its feelings and concerns. Then, move to a chair representing the Self and respond with compassion and understanding. This technique helps create a vivid dialogue between your parts and the Self, offering a deeper insight into your internal dynamics.
5. Explore the Eight C's
This exercise invites you to deepen your understanding of the Self’s qualities—the Eight C's: Curiosity, Compassion, Calmness, Clarity, Confidence, Creativity, Courage, and Connectedness. Reflect on each quality and journal about times when you felt each was present in your interactions. This can help you cultivate these aspects in everyday life, strengthening your Self-leadership. By focusing on these qualities, you can enhance your ability to respond to your parts with greater wisdom and care.
6. Connect with Your Body
In this exercise, perform a body scan to deepen your connection with yourself. Find a quiet place to sit or lie down comfortably. Close your eyes and slowly shift your attention through different parts of your body, from your toes to your head.
As you focus on each area, notice any sensations, emotions, or images that arise. This practice can help you identify which parts are holding tension or emotional stress, facilitating a deeper understanding of your internal landscape and promoting relaxation and self-awareness.
Embracing Your Internal Family
Exploring the different parts of yourself through Internal Family Systems exercises is a powerful step toward self-understanding and healing. Whether you're mapping your parts, engaging in chair work, or connecting with your body through a scan, each exercise offers a unique pathway to inner peace and balance.
Remember, this journey is deeply personal and can be enriched with professional guidance.
Let’s work together to create lasting change
Are you a high-achiever, highly sensitive individual, or member of the BIPOC community feeling overwhelmed by life’s challenges? For over 14 years, I’ve helped countless clients navigate their inner worlds through IFS therapy combined with EMDR. As a licensed marriage and family therapist, I specialize in empowering individuals like you to unlock their potential.
Ready to start your healing journey? Let’s connect! I offer virtual therapy sessions across Texas for your convenience. Discover how my personalized approach can transform your life. Book your free consultation today at Janae Kim Psychotherapy.
